Can You Tell If Someone Read Your Message In Discord?

‘Can I tell if someone read my message in Discord? I sent someone a message and they didn’t reply. What have I done wrong?’ Sound familiar? We get this kind of question all the time and I think now is a good time to tackle this subject.

First off, let’s tackle the first aspect of that question. Can you tell if someone read your message in Discord? The answer is no. Discord does not use read receipts or any notification system. I think that’s for the good but your opinion may differ.

Now let’s tackle the second part of that message. The social anxiety element and the reason you want to know if someone read your message in the first place.

Social anxiety

Snapchat changes the arrow from opaque to the outline. Twitter ticks turn blue, WhatsApp ticks turn blue, iMessage changes Delivered to Read if read receipts are enabled. Most social networks use read receipts and many messaging services to do. For some they are a force for good. For others they are another way to experience social anxiety.

We have all been there. We send a reply to someone and add a little piece of ourselves in the message. ‘See you tonight for dinner.’ Then you send another, ‘Can’t wait to see you!’. You see Delivered appear. You see Read appear. You calmly wait for a reply. You wait a little longer. Then paranoia sets in.

Why haven’t they replied? What have I don’t wrong? What did I say? Why haven’t they replied?

Social contracts

For many of us, using messaging systems or social media includes an implied social contract that states some messages require a prompt reply. Any message that offers a little piece of ourselves is definitely one of those messages. Depending on your personality, read receipts can make this worse.

In the example above. You send a piece of yourself in a message. You saw they read it but they didn’t respond. You know they read it, which feeds your insecurity. Even if you’re normally a confident person with few anxieties, this anxiety finds its way through. You begin doubting your worth. You begin doubting the other person. You could even begin doubting your relationship with them. You really shouldn’t though.

It’s not always about you

Messaging systems are exactly that, a system. A mechanism that follows a specific process from beginning to end with no accounting for the real world. Did the message get delivered? If yes, send delivered message. Did the message appear in the app while the phone was open? Yes/No, send the Read message if yes.

There is no accounting for whether the person saw the message or not. Or what’s going on in their life at the time. It is this situation that we all need to think about when we experience social anxiety.

We send a message to someone and it isn’t replied to immediately. We rarely think about them or what they are doing at the time. It immediately comes back to us. What did I do? What did I say? Why do they hate me? Why do they not value me enough to reply right away? It’s a pointless spiral to find ourselves in but we do it anyway.

In an ideal world, the person you’re messaging would reply right away. But we are all different. Some people would think the comment above doesn’t need a reply as it isn’t a question. Some people may not even see the message as they have switched from the messaging app to something else on their phone. Or very unlikely I know, have put their phone down to do something else.

Just because a message says it has been read doesn’t actually mean it has been. Phones can have multiple apps open at once. Multitasking is now a thing on phones. Even notifications can get lost in the noise. Some apps won’t display notifications while you’re using them. If someone is at work, they may have sound and vibration turned off so as not to disturb colleagues or annoy their boss.

There are a thousand reasons why you might be seeing a read receipt or someone hasn’t replied. Only one of those thousand reason has anything to do with you. I am glad Discord doesn’t use read receipts as I think they feed social anxiety and one less thing to worry about while you’re online has to be a good thing right?